SUMMER 2013
It all started because Mike was bored.
In April 2013 we returned from a few months in Spain to our flat in Worcester. Within a month, Mike was bored.
So he scoured the internet until he found a project – a cottage ripe for full renovation on the edge of the Cotswolds, twenty miles away. We viewed it before the auction and it wasn’t difficult to see which house in the row of four was the one in need of more than a bit of TLC.
Our first glimpse of the project
But if we thought the outside looked a bit run down, the inside was even worse. There were piles of rubbish everywhere and even though it was such a mess, it had been lived in just about a month before by the owner.
The Lounge
The Kitchen
In the kitchen, the walls were so black that I thought there had been a fire but it was actually mould. The wallpaper hung off the walls in great strips. As there was no central heating, there were electric bar heaters on the walls and in the kitchen the wallpaper actually hung over them. How there hadn’t been a fire I really don’t know.
Where the kitchen floor was clear (and there wasn’t much of it that was) our feet stuck to it. It really wasn’t pleasant.
Upstairs didn’t get much better. A staircase from the lounge led to the landing, off which were the main bedroom and the bathroom. The bedroom window, even if the rotten wood had allowed it to open, would not have been able to because it was completely covered with ivy, four feet deep. Who needs curtains with that thick covering? Just as well it was there given the shreds which hung there – just!
Ragged strips of curtain hung in the main bedroom
The landing
The bathroom
In the bathroom there was no working toilet (the cistern had been smashed and the toilet was ‘flushed’ by means of a bucket filled in the bath.
There was no shortage of used dental floss and old toothbrushes though – they were stacked, revoltingly, on top of the toilet and at the end of the bath. More mould decorated the walls and ceiling. Lumps of plaster were falling off the walls.
From the hall, a decidedly dangerous staircase led to a dormer bedroom. Although one had to dice with death to climb it (and coming down, with a window directly opposite was even more scary) the views over open countryside were very pretty, once you had fought your way through the collapsed ceiling to view it.
Outside there was a small, brick outbuilding (without a roof) and a coal store.
The garden was a strange one. Not next to the property itself, it’s apparently what’s known as a ‘divorced’ garden and you have to walk through the neighbours’ gardens to get to it. Although a mess, it wasn’t full of rubbish, just weeds and overgrown trees. But it was private and with some work, it could look nice.
And that was it. A hovel. But it had character and even Victoria thought there was something ‘homely’ about it even despite its terrible state.
Mike was grinning when we left and a week later, after the auction in London, it was ours. What had we done?
Normally when buying at auction, exchange of contracts happens on the day with completion taking place four weeks later. In this case, at the request of the owner, that stretched to eight weeks, but eventually he had stripped most of the obvious rubbish out (as evidenced by the piled high skip up the road) and we got the keys.
SUMMER/AUTUMN 2013 – STRIPPING DOWN
It was never intended to be a full time job, and at first we did have the odd day off. We certainly didn’t work at the weekends but this was out of consideration to the neighbours more than anything else. But gradually we spent more and more time there as there was so much to strip out while our planning permission went through. We had applied for a small extension at the back to allow for a downstairs toilet and had changed the window in the dormer bedroom to large bi-fold doors. Normally such a small extension would not have needed permission under the permitted development rules but because the extension was on a party wall we had to apply for it.
We bought sledgehammers, crowbars, hard hats, hard shoes, safety goggles and gloves and set apart attacking the place while waiting for the planning permission to come through.
We ripped out a small interior wall in the lounge (keeping enough of its structure just in case it was doing anything useful!), then took out the carpets (which seemed to have a life of their own and a smell to go with them), the kitchen units and as much of the flooring there as we could get up. Under the carpet in the lounge we discovered a lovely limestone floor but having been covered in damp carpet for years it was in a dreadful condition.
We didn’t dare use the electricity but instead ran an extension cord from the neighbours next door whenever we needed anything. Plugging a kettle in was too much of a risk so copious cups of tea arrived from next door too. We removed as much wallpaper as we could without resorting to actually scraping it – most of it came off easily as it was hanging down anyway – revealing hundreds of spiders.
As we removed brickwork, we stacked it up in the front garden then transported it to the local landfill site in the back of Mike’s Jag. We found it could take sixty bricks at a time without the back end scraping on the road!
Attacking the ivy from the bottom meant it started a slow die back. Every now and then we would try to pull more down from below but were frightened of pulling too much away from the bedroom window while it was still alive as tendrils had crept right into the wood.
We had to empty the outbuildings which were full of plastic bags (I didn’t look at most of the contents as they were mostly dripping and mushy – the mind boggles) and old gardening relics – scythes, pick axes etc - and layers of pure muck. There were piles of old roofing slates under mounds of earth and debris. We had to clean them all off and stack them away from the house as we were going to use them for the extension and to replace any broken ones. It was a pretty tedious job.
Of course, once we cleaned the pathway round the back of the house, all the local cats discovered that it was a great place to use as a toilet. Lovely.
Back indoors, pulling off the loose wallpaper removed huge chunks of loose plaster as well. In fact, in places some of the mortar came out of the brickwork too leaving us very close to fearing that the bricks themselves would fall out. Luckily they held – just.
Poor Mike had the unenviable task of fitting a new toilet. Removing the old one was more than a bit gruesome and I kept out of the way. He didn’t want to carry the old one through the house so just bunged it in the bath to let it all dry out.
At the beginning of September, and having stripped back as much as we thought we needed to, we brought the builders in to quote for replacing the dormer – the first of the jobs that we couldn’t do ourselves.
They couldn’t start for a month and then could only come in for two weeks at that point so we checked what we could do in the meantime and discovered that as far as stripping the house, we had only touched the surface. In order to save on the costs of manual labour, we would need to take all the plaster off the walls and ceilings, remove all the insulation, such as it was and rip out the rest of the bathroom.
We both took on the task of removing the plaster and started at the top with the dormer. Having cleared the room, it was soon filled once more with heaps of smelly, damp chunks of plaster.
Some pieces came down in huge chunks, nearly missing our heads, and some came down in tiny powdery flakes, along with copious amounts of spider filled insulation, rat pooh and birds nests. It was a truly filthy task. Each day we would get home and rush for the shower. We used the full range of safety equipment for this. And all the debris went in the Jag and was dumped each day in the landfill site. That poor car!
When we ripped out the plasterboard on the walls of the dormer, the full extent of the decay became apparent. The exterior walls had been wood clad and this was so rotten that it was spongy and you could actually see through it. How it remained in place is beyond me.
On the landing, it was an even worse job as the ceiling was lathe and plaster rather than plasterboard. Everything came down in tiny pieces. The mess and dust was incredible and clearing it all up each day took nearly as long as bring it down.
In the lounge, removing some plaster revealed a hidden door between our house and the one next door. It had been bricked up on the neighbour’s side but the door was still there, with sand bags and old newspaper stuffed behind the plaster. The papers dated back to 1897. When I managed to remove all the debris, beautiful floor tiles were revealed.
As there was no mains gas at the property, our next job was to dig a deep channel along the side of the front garden to allow pipes to be laid. We could have got the Gas Board to do this, but for Mike, the thought of getting a digger and doing it himself was much more appealing. Boys and their toys and all that I suppose. At this point we also discovered something very strange about the water supply – it was a spur coming through from the next door neighbour’s house – in the lounge. If for whatever reason, she turned her supply off, ours would have been turned off too. Very weird. And expensive to rectify. Still Mike had his digger and now had two uses for it.
The mini digger arrived and the channel was dug. Mike did a lot of grinning. He also got a bit carried away and removed everything else in the garden – hedge, trees and bushes – they were pretty old and in the light of what was to come, it was just as well they came out.
While he was digging, I was burning. I cleared the back garden and managed to keep a bonfire going for three days, burning furiously during the day and glowing away at night.
Finally at the beginning of October, and with planning permission granted, the scaffolding went up.
At the back, the scaffolding spread onto the neighbours property, so that the builders would be able to get to the edge of the roof and the dormer. As soon as it was up, I was up there too and getting a really good look at the extent of the horror that was the dormer.
The following week, the builders arrived. Having thought that Mike and I had made a really good job of stripping the place out, I was somewhat surprised and disappointed that they saw our efforts as “a good start”. They then set about demolishing it some more.
First they pulled off the roof, tile by tile. No wonder it was in such a state. The lathes had not been big enough to support the tiles and many were completely rotten allowing the tiles to just slip off the roof. The joists also weren’t up to the job and many of those had gone in places. Slowly the front garden, so recently cleared, filled with old joists and other roofing debris and huge amounts of new wood that seemed to arrive to replace them nearly every day.
Once the roof was stripped, typically the rain started so it was covered with tarpaulin and the builders set about demolishing the rest of the first floor while they waited for the weather to change again. It only took a couple of days but in that time the dormer disappeared, as did the dormer floor/bedroom ceiling, the bedroom wall and the staircase to the dormer. We were left with one huge room off of which was the bathroom. If we had been going to live in the cottage ourselves it would have made a fantastic space – a loft mezzanine bed space with study and dressing area below. Still, another time, another place …..
The slates on the front pitch start to go on
Of course, once the timber structure of the dormer was complete, and the tiles where in place, all that was left was the construction of the flat roof. This is when the weather took a real turn for the worse. The heavens opened day after day and although the wooden ply had been laid, the special rubber coating couldn’t be put on if it was wet. The builders had to find something else to do.
I had a rare day off and when I returned the bathroom had disappeared – literally. The bath, toilet and shower tray were in the garden, seemingly with the rest of the house. Mike and I had been concerned about getting the bath down the windy stairs but it would appear it came out with the floor – probably glued to it!
For some some stupid reason, I thought the worst of the mess was over. How wrong was I? I had forgotten that the stinking, rotten, leaking bathroom roof still had to come off, and with major crashing and banging, down it came – all into the kitchen. Some of the top lines of brick had to come out too and they all landed in the same place. It was mine and Mike’s job to shovel it all into wheelbarrows, take it through the house, through the obstacle course that was the front garden and up the path to the skip. It took us days and every now and then, more would arrive. I have no idea where it all kept coming from.
The front garden looking like a battlefield
While the builders went off on another job, Mike and I were left with instructions to remove all the plaster from the walls, insulate the dormer and get the floors dug up ready to lay a waterproof membrane and insulation. All through November we slogged, enlisting help with digging up the floor from a couple of friends as the jackhammer played havoc with Mike’s arthritic hands. Every day we went home filthy and knackered. It was cold, damp and dark in a house that only had one electric socket. To boil the kettle we had to turn off the light and the oil filled radiator. Oh it was fun!
As you can see, by this time the toilet had been plumbed into the corner of the kitchen which was directly in line of sight from the front door. Every time I had to use it Mike would stand sentry. There is no dignity on a building site.
When the builders returned, a slightly dryer spell enabled them to finish off both flat roofs – the dormer and the bathroom. Once this was done, a small part of the scaffolding was taken down and we could start to see what it would look like.
It was a lovely moment when the rest of the scaffolding was taken down the following week, although I think our neighbours were more relieved than us as it had been an unsightly structure.
WINTER 2013/2014 – STARTING THE REBUILD
All through one of the wettest winters I’ve ever known, Mike and I continued to work. Despite our vague thoughts of maybe three days a week, we continued to be on site five days. It was still exhausting, cold and filthy – but it was still amazingly good fun. My muscles continued to grow and my weight went down. I found I could eat what I liked! Result!
We completely insulated the walls and ceiling of the dormer, a disgusting job, as all the sheets of insulation had to be individually cut to fit between the rafters, none of which were the same size apart or at the exact angle and they had to be dragged up into the dormer up a ladder. You would get most of the piece cut to size, shove it in only to find that the last few inches would not fit and we would have to use the saw to remove a few millimetres. Insulation dust was everywhere. Even with goggles and masks, it felt like it was in every facial tube and opening but when we were finished it was amazing how much warmer it felt even without the doors in.
First fix came and went. The plumbing pipework went in and so did all the wiring for the lights and sockets. Then, just before Christmas, we got the call we had been waiting for – the windows and dormer bi-fold doors were ready.
Once the windows were in, we were finally watertight in the main house. The part built extension at the back was another matter, and it stayed open to the elements all over the Christmas and new year break, being thoroughly soaked by the time we returned with the builders in January.
In January, the rear extension (for the downstairs toilet) was finished and the final window was put in. Then the waterproof membrane was laid through the whole of the ground floor and the first concrete layer was mixed and laid. The hovel was finally starting to feel like a house. The new staircase had arrived in pieces and was put together and the plastering boarding began quickly followed by the actual plastering. Just as I thought I had got rid of all the mess, it all started again.
Plastering began in the dormer and they worked their way down. As each room was finished, I scraped more plaster off the floors than I think actually went on the walls.
Our carpenter had made all the internal doors and for the next – well, eternity it seemed really – I filled every screw hole (54 per door!), covered every pine knot with a knotting compound – at least twice – and undercoated all the door architraves, doors and both staircases. Virgin wood is a time consuming bugger to deal with! I now know this!!! I cannot remember how many hours were spent with either sandpaper or the palm sander clenched in my hand.
At the beginning of February, the underfloor heating system arrived. Mike and I laid more insulation across the whole of the ground floor (much easier and a lot less cutting than when dealing with rafters) and then put down the interlocking mats that would hold this new water heating system. We laid the pipes in a serpentine system that Mike worked out. The water pipes were very stiff and it took both of us to lay them and clip them into the mats.
When the system was pressure tested, we were relieved to find that the pressure stayed constant – a sign that there were no leaks.
Things never go completely smoothly with building projects and after one visit from the building inspector, we had to have more steel uprights and beam added to the lounge – after the walls had been plastered naturally. This would have looked stupid with the decorative beams that were already there, so we had those taken out. Luckily we knew about this before we laid the underfloor heating pipes.
The next job was to lay a dry screed over the whole of the ground floor. It arrived ready mixed and was dumped on a tarpaulin at the top of the pathway leading to the cottages and then began the laborious job of wheeling it down in barrows and laying it flat. After that it had to be left, undisturbed, to dry. The house was locked up and we were forbidden to go back for a week. It was wonderful to have that time off!
Once we were allowed back in I started to top coat the stairs while Mike started putting on the mist coat of paint on the fresh plaster. We had left it as long as we could to dry out and a mist coast helps prevent it from flaking. As the mix is around 50/50 water to paint, it’s a very thin mix and goes everywhere. I was glad I could get on with the more intricate, but infinitely cleaner job of glossing!
I have always done my own decorating but have never had to paint a whole house from top to bottom. Every single surface and so many tins of paint! Even worse, I cannot count the number of times things were moved from one room to another to accomplish a task, only to have to move it around again to accomplish another.
At the same time as this was going on, the trades were coming in and out. Carpenter, plumber and electrician – all with their own boxes of gear which had to be navigated around, painted around or moved from room to room. It was so frustrating but slowly and surely we progressed.
At the beginning of March, the kitchen arrived. Our carpenter was on another job when we wanted it fitted, and we couldn’t put back the fitting date as we had the builders booked back in to put the slate floor tiles down. Some of the slates were 900 x 600, too heavy for Mike and I to handle, what with Mike’s hands and my back, so we decided to keep that schedule and fit the kitchen ourselves – never having done one before.
We had kept all the stone flagstones from the lounge, and after sketching out a rough plan for the builders, they laid them down in the front garden, along with the three tons of slate chippings and gravel. Thank goodness they had some sunny days to work in and four days later, instead of the front resembling a mud bath, it was beautiful and clean.
SPRING 2014 – THE RACE TO FINISH
With all the trades out for a while, Mike and I were able to concentrate on fitting the kitchen in peace. Luckily the units were very well made, fully assembled with the doors on, and all (and I say all loosely) we had to do was fit them together, level them, and put the handles on. Without any instructions, and never having done it before, we were a bit slow at first but then got the hang of it and the main part of the kitchen was finished in a couple of days.
Getting the integrated fridge freezer into its cupboard was a bit of a bugger and required the help of the next door neighbour, but eventually it went in. The instructions on how to fit the door onto the dishwasher were so complicated (no words just indecipherable diagrams and too many screws) that we decided to leave it until the carpenter came back!
The following week the granite company arrived to template the worktop and the builders came back to lay the slate floor. The following week, the granite was fitted and once the sink, tap, hob and cabinet lights were fitted, we suddenly had the beginnings of a rather nice kitchen.
Over the next few weeks, more painting took place. Both the outer and inner front door arrived and were sanded, painted and hung. The horrible steel in the lounge was clad in wood and painted. The tiler arrived and tiled the bathroom. I had been going to do this when is realised that the size of the tiles (large), the price of the tiles (expensive) and my experience at tiling (negligible) were not a good combination.
However, I didn’t chicken out fitting the bathroom floor. I prepared the plywood floor then used the special adhesive before laying the Karndean planks having worked out the simple pattern. Mike cut them to size (Stanley knives and me are not a good combination). The result, after a few hairy moments when I thought we were going to run out of adhesive, was good.
I used a ton of decorators’ calk filling around the door frames and skirting boards (and found that strangely satisfying). Curtain poles were put up, wooden venetian blinds were cut to size and hung and then the whole of the upstairs was carpeted.
Finally we had finished.
APRIL 2014 – HOVEL NO MORE – THE FINISHED RESULT
On and off for eight months we slaved over this little hovel that we found on the edge of the Cotswolds.
We spent too much money on it. We spent too much time on it. We had too many sleepless nights over it. And somewhere along the line, we fell in love with it.
And would we do it again? ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY!
